Tuk Tuk-ing in Phuket

I need a holiday from the last holiday because it was physically exhausting and even worse emotionally draining. So i am hoping the KK holiday would ease the pain a lot.
I am a real coward when it comes to braving the local delicacies mainly because i have the weakest tummy. My tongue loves spicy but my Swedish stomach detests it. I carry charcoal tablets ALL the time with me. I have had some disgusting encounters after digesting unclean,uncooked and unimaginable food which i will not get into because i intend to earn off my blog sometime in the future.
Long story short. I tried this somtam which is papaya ( which does not look like papaya nor taste like one ) with local thai sauces,chilies,grounded nuts etc. It costs RM4 only. That clay looking bowl that the lady is facing is the mixing bowl which looked like it was not cleaned in 3 months nor the utensils used to mix it. But since i am on a life makeover with a 31 things to do/see/be before i die , i thought it was only appropriate to screw my stomach over.
A must try if in Thailand. I tried this in Patong,Phuket. I had this almost every day with heaty repurcussions down under. YES Benny there is a word such as heaty :)


At first sight

Do you wonder at times if people are really who they say they are. If they've had a mask all this time. If they did, why?
Wouldn't it be easier just being themselves ? Could it be because being themselves was not good enough. Have i had a mask on me for sometime?
I possibly have. It wouldn't surprise me. A mask for every role that i have as a woman,a leader, a partner, a daughter, a friend, a sister, a colleague, a soul mate?
I wished i knew answers for all these questions i have. Doesn't matter if it's the right ones or not ?
I want to believe again. Can i? Should i? Could i? Must i?
I need to start writing non dark materials.....


An ode to my adopted " family " ....

At times, the friends that we've known for the longest time amaze us. These friends that you least expect to judge you do so.... They say they don't judge you but their actions say otherwise.People who listen to half truths and assume it's the absolute truth. Never asking the person involved directly. So if this is NOT being judged then tell me what this is ? Coz i'd love to know!

Thankfully i've had the pleasure of being in the company of certain wonderful friends over the past months that have helped me regain my sanity. People who see me day in day out and feel the pain i go thru every second.

You know who you are.

Friends who call up at 3AM to check on you.
Friends who walk across to you just to give you a HUG because they know that that HUG is what you need to survive the rest of the day.
Friends who alter their plans to accommodate your need to drink at an ungodforsaken time like 2AM when only the chinese red table clothed restaurants are open... selling Heinekens at RM12.
Friends who don't mention anything related to your past life for fear that the progress made over the past 3 days will backtrack 3 weeks.
Friends who tell you how strong you are every day in case you stop believing in yourself

To you, I will forever be indebted.


~ It's NOT raining MEN ~

This lovely Dutch couple that we became friends with over 2.5 years ago called me this evening.
Speak about perfect timing. I never used to believe the phrase " when it rains , it pours ". I always thought those who said it only said it b'coz they couldn't handle the situation.
BOY have i been wrong in the past 8 weeks. ... and i've been asking myself everyday when will it stop raining ! Pray for me that the sun will shine on me tomorrow or burn me which will probably be good for me....


All messed up !

Don't go changing
That's what you told me from the start
Thought you were something different
That's when it all just fell apart
Like you're so perfect
And I can't measure up
Well I'm not perfect
Just all messed up
I was losing myself to somebody else.
But now I see
I don't wanna pretend.